Why didn't you tell me it was this hard???

Someone once posed that question to me about motherhood. "Why didn't you tell me it was this hard?" At the time I was thrown off guard by it. Now I just know there are a lot of things that we don't tell each other about motherhood. We just do most of it without thinking like we are on autopilot. You get in a routine and it seems everyday just repeats itself over and over. Maybe since I was the oldest child I kind of had an idea of what to expect. I knew how to handle the diapers, the crying, and numerous other tasks that come with babies and toddlers. Plus, like most mothers, the first thing I did when I found out I was pregnant was go out and buy the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting." Now I see that they have the book "What to Expect the First Year." So I'm pretty sure that since this book was published many moons ago that these people have grown children now. So why didn't they finish writing the whole series? Where is the book "What to Expect When They Start Dating", or "What to Expect When They Wreck Their First Car", or better yet -"What to Expect When They Move Out." This will be my first Mother's Day with only one of my children here. Wednesday after work I helped Lauren finish moving into her apartment. We went to Wal-Mart and got her stocked up on dishes, silverware, food, etc. etc. I'm here to warn you, it's hard. Really hard to let her go. I read an article in She magazine (a local women's magazine here) the other day while they had me sitting under the hair dryer at the beauty salon. It was of course the Mother's Day issue so there were a lot of articles about mother's and daughters. There was an article where this woman was describing the void in her life since her daughter moved out and I couldn't even finish reading it because I didn't want to become a blubbering idiot right there in the beauty shop. Anyway, she said she wished she could have a "Do-over." ME TOO!!! I miss her car sitting out in the driveway. I miss my hug and kiss goodnight. I miss seeing that once again she's taken my hairbrush or makeup and forgotten to give it back. I want her to be little again and ask me to read to her or watch "Jungle Book" with her for the third time in one day. I miss her. Thank goodness she's still here in town. So here's where I learn to let go and just take a supporting role. Wednesday after I came back to the house after she was gone, I went into her room and sat on her bed. It was so empty. That's when I noticed a little statue on the dresser that she had left behind. An Angel, kneeling - holding a nest with two little baby birds in it. It reminded me of something someone told me once when I was nervous about letting my kids start driving. She said that you had to give them wings and let them fly. So true. So I went and found my one little bird that is still living in the nest. I have a whole year left with Erik before he moves out. It's his turn to be an only child. He's pretty okay with that. :)


So to all of you Mother's out there.... Take this opportunity to watch that movie with them again, or to read that SAME book they love so much one more time. Happy Mother's Day!